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Wasted

June 19, 2011

I should be studying.  Sitting here at work with not much to do, all this great study material, test soon.  Imagine getting paid to study, I mean come on.  But this stuff doesn’t light my fire like the classes I wanna take.  There’s not a lot of mystery in fixing computers and configuring routers and networks and stuff.  But now if I’m unprepared when I take these exams, I can’t blame my schedule.  Got exactly what I wanted, and now all I want is a good excuse.  Heh.

I guess it’s true what Oscar Wilde said: “There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”

 

That’s definitely true for my dad.  I guess I am gonna be thinking about him a lot today.  We don’t talk very often anymore.  He’s had a tough life, and has done very well, has all the stuff he wants, big house, nice car, etc. but he pushed everyone away in the process.  Divorced my mom, moved away, became a consultant and works alone at home.  I can’t even comprehend that.  And the strange thing is, he’s very personable.  Able to empathize and relate, joke around, has personality quirks, he’s very human.  Not really sure why he is in what amounts to self-exile.

 

Still, I consider him a great man.  I mean, we all have flaws.  God knows I have tons.  He raised me and taught me most everything I needed to know.  He made sure I think about things before I do them or say them, and took great pains to teach me to fish, shoot guns, use tools, throw a punch, help others, be generous, and all the other things a man ought to know.  And I love him for it.  I guess I owe it to him to try to bridge the gap now.

Speaking of which, September can’t come soon enough.  No matter how far apart we are, there are no awkward silences between me and my dad when we talk about football.  Plus, obviously, all the other things that are great about Fall.

 

Thunderstorm rolling in!  How great is that.  Next break I am just gonna sit outside and listen to thunder.  Will probably write more later.

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