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One of Those Days

September 23, 2011

“There have been times when I think we do not desire heaven; but more often I find myself wondering whether, in our heart of hearts, we have ever desired anything else….It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want. …the day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it.”


Man I am tired.  Gonna collapse when I get home today.  Lots to do though.  Gotta schedule a couple certification tests.  Decided to do it today so I can’t put it off anymore.

That will be a big weight off my chest.  I mean, it’s stuff I know, so I may as well prove it, especially if it makes me easier to hire.


Sometimes it’s tough being able to sit here and read about interesting things and cool places while I’m chained to my desk.  I guess that’s just human nature.

Part of Buddhism is that avoidable pain is mainly caused by wanting things, and that part of enlightenment is being free from attachment to possessions.  Of course, pretty much every serious faith includes some concept of enlightenment.

Christianity calls it ‘surrender’.  I like that cause I think it is a little more personal and precise.  One thing people don’t realize is that Jesus loved to eat.  In the bible he is always going to dinners and weddings and a lot of the things he did and said involved food.  He was also very social–he had followers, as in, he was their spiritual leader, but he also treated them like close friends.  He loved to interact with children, he took pity on the needy, he got right in the thick of all the needs and wants of humans.

But he was indeed surrendered, and what I mean is this: his goal was always to sacrifice his life for us.  And there’s a very moving scene where he is praying, asking God for some other way.  He loved his life!  He wanted to live it and enjoy it.  But even so, every plea always ended with, “yet not my will, but yours be done.”

I think maybe that’s a better goal than never wanting anything.  He just never grasped anything so tightly that he couldn’t let it go.  And when he had a plan and God had a different plan for him, he chose God’s.  And it ended up well for him, just like it will for us.


So that makes it easier to do the difficult stuff right now I guess.  There’s good things waiting for me, even if they may not the things I want them to be.

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