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November 7, 2011

Sometimes it takes the silence
To finally hear His plan

It’s strange to read about God in the bible and think he is the same God today.  He didn’t change, there is not some part of him today that didn’t exist then.  And he doesn’t change his mind about us, or about anything.

One reason it’s so strange is that we ourselves and our situations often change dramatically.  He’s not different from when I first loved him, but I am very different.  I don’t really have the joy regardless of circumstances that he talks about, that joy that I want and even expect for others.  Our pastor challenged us a few weeks ago, he asked if we have the kind of life we are calling others to have.  In a lot of ways I really don’t.  The worries of life have really weighed down.  To me God says, “Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.  Remember the height from which you have fallen!”

Makes me think I am hanging on and doing the right things for all the wrong reasons.  Like I am waiting for things to suddenly improve for me personally.  But I know in my heart it doesn’t work like that.  I really think God wants to make our dreams come true, but he wants to change our dreams first.  So do I trust him enough to let him do that?  Am I willing to give up what I want most, if it means he has something better for me?

God really does carefully engineer things.  I didn’t always believe that, and I really don’t know if that is always the case or just sometimes, but I’ve seen it firsthand.  But as Job said, “shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”  Like, I was happy to see him working in my life when it was for something I wanted.  But now it seems like this brief experiment is finished and I’m about to lose something I was really looking forward to.

But I guess that is the point of all this.  Whether it’s regarding work or family or finances or whatever, a bunch of effort and worry on my part really don’t amount to much.  When he plans something, it happens.  If a plan is mine alone, it doesn’t happen.  Should probably give myself a little more credit, I am prepared for this reality.  He’s always taken care of me.

The pastor mentioned Gamaliel yesterday too.  Which is interesting.  When Gamaliel speaks in the bible, it’s during an argument about what to do about all the apostles and missionaries of Jesus.  God’s hand was on them, he was protecting them.  Gamaliel, though he wasn’t a believer himself, recognized this.  His advice was  “if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

And, since he never changes, I can count on him now too.

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