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Assemble!

May 7, 2012

Avengers was pretty awesome.  It was light and fun, like the Marvel movies that led up to it.  The Batman movies are so freaking dark, sometimes unnecessarily so, it’s nice to know that people will still see a comic book movie that has all the banter and crazy plot of a comic book.

And it’s relatively unique among comic book movies that there’s not a half hour of “person/people learning to use powers.”  And there were little bits of romance but they didn’t really dedicate any time to it or halt the story for it.

So you take out that stuff and it’s still two and a half hours.  And really, they needed every bit of that to showcase everybody.  The only ones who sucked were Nick Fury and Hawkeye, but I’m biased against them anyways.  Hawkeye is so uninteresting (I can shoot arrows like, super accurately guys.  If we ever get in an archery contest, I got ya covered.  And I can carry like fifty arrows.  That’s a big number.  Right?  Am I right guys?) that he gets sort of removed from his role at the beginning of the movie–g00d call, imo.

I mean he actually runs out of arrows.  That’s his one thing, and he doesn’t have like, an extra set of arrows somewhere.  And when he’s using a gun he misses a bunch of the time.  You’d think he might choose to spend his time crawling out of the 17th century and start getting good at a modern weapon.  I mean he’s really bringing the team down.  Him still using a bow after all this time is like the Hulk smoking pot to stay mellow.  Black Widow is also a “normal” person in the midst of a bunch of superheroes, but at least she’s good at mental manipulation and martial arts.  And as if to drive the point home, they make it incredibly clear that she could kick Hawkeye’s ass at any time.

I liked that Loki started evil and stayed evil.  And he’s the kind of smarmy evil that you just love to hate.  Heath Ledger’s Joker was amazing but there were times, like when Batman is beating him half to death in the interrogation room and he’s just laughing it off, that you almost empathize with him and how life brought him to that point.  Not so with Loki, he’s just a douche that takes advantage of every opportunity to be an evil, self-aggrandizing dick.  He thinks humans are beneath him, he takes advantage of his brother’s love, and in the end you just can’t wait to see him get his comeuppance in some hilariously embarrassing way.

Finally, I must set the record straight on one scene.  So, spoiler alert, a portal to space opens up above Manhattan, and Iron Man has to fly into it.  He flies into it for about a minute and it takes him another minute or so to get back.

People have a problem with this because in the first Iron Man, when Iron Man flies too high his suit freezes up and shuts down and he plummets to earth.  And people are like, how come he couldn’t handle that, but he can handle space?

It’s ironic that this is one of the few times they bother to get the physics right in a comic book movie and people take issue with it.

First off, his suit is not going to ‘freeze up’ in space.  The whole freezing up thing requires water, and space doesn’t have water.  It has…space.  That is to say, it has nothing.  The temperature of space itself is near absolute zero, but people in a vacuum need cooling systems, not heating systems–because we ourselves generate heat, and heat can’t dissipate unless it has something to dissipate into.  I think when Iron Man flies back and is unconscious, maybe it was the fall that knocked him out, but maybe he was already unconscious from overheating (and maybe that was why he didn’t try to slow down).

And as far as his rockets or whatever, once he’s in space he doesn’t need them, because there’s nothing slowing him down.  He can go as far as he needs to just from inertia.  And I guess he reversed direction because of the big explosion?  Makes sense to me.

So it was a great movie top to bottom.  And we got Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises still to come!

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